About friendships... and dealing with people in general

[sauterelle]

So today there's this feeling, that I really don't want to deal with people. I don't want to talk to anyone that i'm already not talking to at work, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to reply to any messages, I refuse to check my phone for missed calls or texts... I'm not even on Facebook or Twitter.

I just really don't want to deal with people right now.

It's so tiring, thinking of what other people are thinking, of being conscious of how I conduct myself: am I being too friendly, sending the wrong messages, offending someone, do I look ridiculous?

I don't want to deal with it. After what happened at my previous job, I'm just so wary of people, especially men, and it saddens me, because I know that I should have more faith in the good intentions of others...

But I can't bring myself to believe that, not really.